Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Dealing two egos of the self

Have you ever asked yourself, what is the source of your sudden anger and rage? Well, I am not assuming that you are bad tempered but sudden anger does not always associated with bad temper all the time. A very calm and quite person can be furious sometimes. Theoretically, any kind of deprived feelings is the cause of your being burst out.

Don't get bored already with these complex discussion style, I have got a story to tell.

Lucia's ego
You know Lucia?
She was up in arms very recently at her office and expressed it in a violent way. Some fragile office properties were even damaged with her rage and the Boss had no option but let her know that she deserves a walking paper.
But in the evening, with her boyfriend, Lucia was very different. His name is Michael. Lucia told Michael the whole story.
'Well, what happened?' Michael asked.
Lucia smiles, 'Nothing serious actually. You know Karl, the tall nut guy sit next to me?'
'He always find some faults with my work. Always telling me what to do. I could not take it anymore. I know very well, I understand my work better than him.'
'Sure you do honey'.
Lucia leans her head to Michael's shoulder... well, that's different story.
But Michael is the existence that satisfy Lucia's ego here.

Michael's view
Michael was thinking of something else when Lucia's head was resting upon his shoulder. He had a bad day too. On the train, couple of hippies teased him to fight and if it happened his face would not be in it's shape. Luckily, the next station came and some policemen got on. But Michael could not let go the bitter scenes out of his mind.
While Lucia was thinking that only Michael understands her, he was bit of annoyed thinking that, 'Why have you made such a mess today? I can't share my story in this situation!' He was feeling kind of deprived.

Is superiority feeling natural?
'Everybody thinks that he or she is right; others are wrong.'
The line is in quotation mark but it is not any outstanding quote to refer. It is a simple everyday experience that we all have more or less. Anyway, if you insist for reference, pick any book by Strauss or psychologist of cognitive discourses and you may find hundreds of case studies that support the sentence.

But there is always a contradiction within contradiction. Everybody in his or her own mind feel confused about the ongoing thoughts. Whatever the expression is, either bold or weak, in the depth of mind there is an unobedient self that always raise questions.

You are feeling inferior to that extent as you are expressing superiority. So natural feeling is not a static issue. Every feeling in the world is correlated with each other.

How can this be cured?
First of all, do you think it's a problem?
You have heard of anger management course, counseling for self control but how on earth getting rid of superiority feeling is possible? The answer will be, yes; but I will add, 'in a sense'.
Because defining the Grey line between exposure of self and superiority feeling is necessary. You have written an wonderful article and need to reach millions of people- that's alright. But thinking that what you have written is absolutely right and no one earth has the proper knowledge to criticize it- is not alright.
That's where the question of cure comes. There is way to get into your mind and make yourself aware of the root cause. All you need to prepare yourself for the change.

If you have any inquiries on this issue, I will be more than happy to answer. I will be available on:

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Dig your alienated mood

Do you remember who said that, freedom is the expression of knowledge? I don't but I like that quote; we are as free as our knowledge. Think of a tiny little electron, an element of an atom, that can be seen only with very powerful and sensitive devices; what we could do about it? But human being found that if that can be made to flow through a conductor, electricity can be produced and the electricity helps us to have a comfortable life. 
So it is always important to find the laws of a process. The same goes to mental condition.

When you feel empty and depressed, there are some objective and subjective conditions. Traditional psychology only goes after the subjective conditions. You will be interrogated to find the fact about immediate cause of your depression. Maybe it's workplace, maybe it's your relation or maybe it's your childhood history. Well, that finding is no less important but more effective way to work on your mind is analyzing the objective situation. This objective situation can be broader than you imagine but don't give up to dig. Knowledge may be boring, but effective.

History of sigh: An alternative case study
Let's take 'sighing' as an example. Have you ever noticed that sighing is relatively a mature act? Could not I make myself clear? Sighing is an expression of discontent or relief rather than an exhaling process. Notice that, I have used two alternative terms- 'discontent' and 'relief'. People with lighter moods can act high and mighty but mature minds think and either he or she agrees or cannot agree with a situation. So feelings of discontent and relief belongs to mature people. But why am I telling this? Allow me some history blended with social theories; but I swear I will not lead you to any intellectual-complex discourse.
'Cosmopolitan' is an idea that only grew in the Twentieth Century. Eightieth Century called human kind to be free from the chain with land and explore the world for better opportunities. Industrialization spread and old form of land based society gradually withered away. Big industries grew up and big cities also emerged to meet the requirement of time. A big city that gives shelter not only the native dwellers but all members indifferent from races or religions, is called as cosmopolitan city. High-rise buildings, broader highways, multi-lanes, multicultural atmosphere, traffic and most of all alienation are the characteristics of this kind of city. Growing complexities of life demanded more specialization of a person and that made each individual incomparable to another; each of them are indispensable to the highest extent. Thinking about the whole process is not everyone's concern but every individual's part keep the whole process running. That is an alienation. An individual cannot have the objective idea of the reality and bound to be a mere subject who has to do his or her duties that society needs. 

Now argument can raise, why should be the situation different? Division of labor is a must, otherwise everything will be purely chaos. 

Subjectively this is true. But may I raise another question- who actually choose what job a individual should do? To be more precise, who created the division of labor? Whom give consent to that creation? A common individual may think himself or herself as a prisoner in the societal jail from which there is no way out. Some can develop a logic that it's their duty for doing greater good and sigh with relief; some can't just accept the situation and express discontent with a sigh.

Is there any escape?
Do you think that the situation stated above is simply frustrating because you are not in a position to change the structure of the society? But who said you are not?  
Everybody in the society is not on their knee like slaves. There are people who have been fighting for hunger free world, better future for the children. If these seem a big and distant issue, why don't you think of some field nearer! Some are planting trees to make the world more green, some are working for vision impaired in a community, some are raising funds to educate girls in third world countries. There are urges of change and there are efforts. All little changes ignite big changes and every effort is a protest to the imprisonment feelings imposed by the society. 

Getting together for a common cause is always against alienation process. So socializing is the only escape form your mental trap. 


Thursday, September 30, 2010

Unlock your depression: Reconnect yourself

Depression is like a virus; a cancer. It has potentials to be spread all over your brain cells.

Loneliness grabs you like a wrench.

Let’s start with a basic question-
How do people themselves interpret the experience of depression? Researchers found that the answer is almost unique all over the world. Everybody, suffering from depression, says that they feel alienated. Alienation from the real world, alienation from their surroundings and even alienation from themselves.

So when the problem is curing from depression the basic theory of the solution is found. You need to reconnect with the world, your surroundings and most of all, yourself.

Reconnecting means getting involved. Now when an individual is in depression it is always hard for him or her to decide how to reconnect again. So help is a must. For major sort of depression, clinical vigilance may help but when the depression level is at it’ middle peak things have to arranged other ways.

Social bond is the best therapy one can ever think of. If someone felling depressed is reading the article, then I would like to say this to him or her-
‘Did you ever have this weird feeling of hunger but at the same time feeling no taste for food?’ Your body is seeking food but you can’t think of anything to eat.

If you had the feeling, what did you do then?

Maybe you thought of some delicious foods one by one and played a little game with your tongue.

Burger? No, too heavy.
Roll? No, too dry.
Coke? No, too liquid.
Fish? No, too smelly.
Meat? No, too oily.
Bread? No, too dry.
Ice cream? … Umm… maybe…

Your tongue gets wet. Yes, if you try ice cream the body will not resist, nor do your mind.

It’s same when dealing the depression. You need to reconnect with the world. So you need an issue to get involved. Take the trial and error method and think of something.

Cycling? Driving? Cleaning? Photography? Reading? Writing? Jogging? Cinema? Gossiping? Traveling? Whatever.

Write every point you can think of. And watch out which of them is demanding attention inside your head even in a slightest extent.

It’s like unlocking a combination lock. Try the regulator and heed carefully where it clicks and suddenly you will find the unlocking code.

But what if you cannot decide what points to write on the paper? You need to lift the blockades from the thinking highway of your brain. And only one way to do this is building relationship with people. It’s true that the current world is too busy, too fast. But there is a supporting virtual world going parallel. And virtual world always intersects with the real world, somehow. As many your association is, so many roads are explored for thoughts.

Are you saying that, ‘Actually this is my problem. I cannot make relations with anyone. Even if I can it does not last.’ Well, it’s understandable. Otherwise, you would not feel lonely. But what can you do? Taking medications?

Is there any medication that can help you to rebuild your connections with the world?; maybe in science fiction but not in real life.

Human being possesses the most powerful mind among all species. As a part of the race, believe in yourself. This belief is not only for yourself; but for the greatest race of the planet that is changing everything to make the surroundings more livable, more convenient.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

The ambition for self development

When can you be assured that you have developed yourself? To be more specific, the question should be, are you ambitious of being developed? Ambition is a addictive thing that hampers vision for future. Does it sound contradictory?
Maybe. But let me explain a little.

Think of a situation in your workplace. If you want to get promoted, you have to demonstrate your skill and ability. But rest of your colleagues are also going in the same direction. So should the promotion become a rat race where only the most cunning fellow reach or always justice finds the fittest person?

If you are successful by your ability you are keeping up with your ambition of reaching higher in terms of social stratification, no comments. But if you are reaching there with all the meanest short cuts you know then your ambition may be satisfied but can you consider yourself as developed? Will not the soul of you wander around your success crying?

Development of self means feeling happy.
Development of self means make feel others happy.

Ambition in its literary form is not that much necessary; more important thing in life is goal. Self development means getting yourself more fit for the goal.

You need to refresh your mind if you feel dull.
You need to gather knowledge to be equipped.
You need to go for the skill that you don't have.
You need to let others know what do you want.

The essence of self development is keeping the dream for a better future.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Winning over monotony of life

Doing anything over and over again is monotonous. Whether it is seeing movie or doing dishes. The curse of the modern times is expressed through the alienation of people.

Are you bored?
Yes I am.

That's a very common conversation of the present time. Why are you bored?
Sometimes I know, sometimes I don't.

Getting up early is boring, going to office is boring, sitting in front of a computer is boring, even sleeping with wife every night is boring. The list grows and grows; it is an endless process.

No one feels happy with monotony but even though he or she has to carry the burden all through the life. Is not there any way out? Are we destined to be unhappy?

No, never.

This beautiful earth has not been created to be unworthy for living. The beauty of the nature lies in diversities.

There are over 200 million insects for every human on the planet.
There are more than 10000 species of flowering plants.
There are more than 24,500 species of fishes in the water.
Approximately 6.8 Billion people are living in this world.

Just try to pass your life enlisting the names and the colors of fishes and at the end you will find that there is not enough time. So the minutest issue in the world deserves a life time reading. Sometimes one life hand over knowledge to it's predecessors. And we cult everything with the shape of time.

So monotony is a state of mind when it does not function with enough creativity to gain some new experiences. A house is not just a house, an office is not just office. Everything can be rearranged, reorganized and the monotony of life can wait.

The art is to develop the ability. It's not any supernatural quality, not any by born virtue. It's practice in a certain way that makes everything possible.

To learn more about the process, contact:

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Do you want to be changed?

Is there anyone who can criticize himself accurately? Don't take it wrong, of course you may have very transparent life and let your friends know all about you. Honesty is not the question, the question is linked with something basic instinct.

Instinct is something that we cannot deny and yet cannot accept. It's a peculiar contradiction lying in human being. We all like to defend what we think or believe but at the same time no one can say that he or she is fully satisfied with himself or herself.

Why these things happen?

First of all, it's not easy to confess in public about a weakness. Suppose you are one of the morality-preacher of your society but at the same time some obscenity do not offend you rather serve the elements of pleasure. How would you feel about that? You may fight yourself and spell,'Obscenity is crime. Human civilization must get rid of it.' But nothing happens. Still your mind gets distracted.

After feeling the guilt and anxiety you can now start thinking of the cause. The ancient proverb already cleared that- no one is perfect. So there is always a struggle of self development. People want to change on the contrast of their self pride. The psychological obscurity prevails in every individual. The sense of disbelief, loneliness and self centered ego keeps a man or a woman to dare to take steps to be changed.

Well, it is not a problem of that individual, it only reflects the prevailing values of the society. The factors causing all the problems are lying in this social construction and so we have to face things comprehensively.

Various habits or beliefs that we possess are causing harm to us along with the society.

We are disorganized.
We are lazy.
We are not willing to be self dependent.
We hate cooking.
We hate to do things.
We just pass a day.

This 'We' are us. It can be anybody. And anybody can earn the courage to be changed. What he or she needs is little help, guide and suggestions.

For them who can dare to take the challenge of new era and change them to reach for a successful life, we have developed some methods and guidelines. These are the results of some brave young people who are well aware of the problems of the society and have the intellectual strength to research the issue for a better solution.

We are developing ebooks, self development soft materials and consultancy services. If anyone has some suggestions or inquiry please mail to: